Pawhuska Proud!

Call me old fashioned – it’s preferable to being called plain old – but I really didn’t know anything about blogging until a few months ago. I knew blogs existed but heretofore, I’d always thought of them as people’s personal little nook of cyberspace – where they invited a few hundred of their closest friends in to see pictures of the world’s cutest children – theirs of course.

Then I stumbled across www.thepioneerwoman.com – a blog that in the world of blogging has to be considered a home run. I started following her because she lives on a ranch a few miles from my hometown – a town called Pawhuska that few people in the world know where it is and even fewer can properly pronounce My initial interest in her site was her cooking and her recipes. But I truly got sucked into her blog and her life with Marlboro Man (what she calls her hubby) which is what I call mine, hubby not Marlboro Man …oh well that too….oh well I digress…AGAIN. Weirdly enough and I realize I may sound kind of like a stalker, but I felt I knew her. I mean, I grew up shopping at the local feed store she writes about and Marlboro Man – I know his parents – ok – its true – I am old.

As I begin to understand the blogging world, I figure out along the way that Pioneer Woman’s- aka Ree Drummond – got a following that People Magazine might be jealous of.  And, being a frustrated writer, ensconced (a nice way of saying trapped) in the business world – I started thinking – hey maybe I can do this.  And so here I am – me and my 5 readers who anxiously await my next post. 

While I’ve been stalking…err following her and still “thinking of writing the great American novel – she’s been actually writing a cookbook.  It’s a collection of her favorite things to cook and a printed version of insight to life on the ranch – similar to what she shares in her blog.  I must tell you, she’s one busy woman.  Might I add that somewhere in the process she managed to have and home school 4 children – I’m sure with the help of Marlboro Man – at least the having part  Finally, just a couple of weeks ago, her cookbook was published – here’s the link to buy it on Amazon  http://www.amazon.com/Pioneer-Woman-Cooks-Recipes-Accidental/dp/0061658197/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257871012&sr=8-1

She’s on a nationwide book tour that she refers to as The Griswold Family Book Tour – I am hoping when she visits Houston on December the 5^th, she’ll stop by my house to see my version of The Griswold Family Christmas.  She may have more blog readers but I bet she doesn’t have a 440 volt electrical panel build “just” for the outside lights.  It just might be new blogging material for her – I might just be the most insane holiday person she’s ever met! 

Any way, just the other day, after only a few days of publication – Pioneer Woman Cookbook – Recipes from an Accidental Country Girl hit #1 on the New York Times Bestseller List.  Hubby, who I proudly shared this news with – after all, Pioneer Woman and I are practically sisters – said “she’s got the number one cookbook?”  No silly boy – she’s got the #1 BOOK!  You Go Girl!

P.S.  I’m serious Ree – come see me in Houston – if nothing else, it’ll put you in the Christmas spirit!  I’ll  serve you really good wine (a lot of it if you want)  and we can sit back and talk about how one girl from Pawhuska and one girl who calls it home – found each other in cyberspace.  Cheers!

P.S.S.  I promise I really won’t become a stalker.  At least not more than I already am   I mean I do know where you live!!

A Return to Slugville

Calling all Slug Fans….Sorry to have been gone so long…can’t give you a much better excuse than I have had writers block. That and my “paying job” has sucked me dry during the day – leaving me a true slug in the evening and too lazy to write

But, after a weekend of Chamber of Commerce weather in the great city of Houston, I’ve been recharged and am now ready to share with you, more snipets from Life In The Slug Lane.

The good news I bring you today is that just shy of Halloween, I think fall might actually have arrived in Houston. It was so beautiful this weekend that already its hard to remember the 6 years…I mean months of summer we’ve just endured.  This morning as I was leaving for work, I noticed that the ice my neighbor dumped yesterday upon returning from a hunting trip, had not melted way.   Just last week that same amount of ice would not have been enough to keep my wine bottle chilled for 30 minutes – which for me of course is an excuse to “slugchug”, after all who likes warm wine?  Anyway, per usual, I digress.  Three days of no sweat in unmentionable places, its enough to make you believe in the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus.

Speaking of Santa Claus, regardless of when the cool weather comes or how long it stays, fall came for me on Sunday afternoon.  The day I bought my first Christmas decoration (oops, do I have to count EBAY?) for the 2009 holiday season.  Yes, I know I said I wasn’t going to decorate this year.  I was completely prepared to don my Scrooge costume for Halloween and wear it all the way to January.  And then I took a trip to the land of Christmas trees, twinkling lights and  peppermint canes.  No, I didn’t fly up to the north pole for the day,  just drove down to my local Home Depot.  And that’s all it took…oh me of the willpower and multiple personalities – Mrs. Grisworld returned.  And, now no one seems to know when the real Kim will be coming back….Stay tuned!

The Full Moon Was Right All Along!

Is it just me or do my readers agree that there are some women in this world that must not have one single mirror in their home.  Otherwise, they would surely not have left the house wearing that. 

I was reminded of that premise a few weeks ago when gurl2 and I headed out with our breighbors (that’s slug speak for best neighbors) for our annual outing to Schitterbahn.  If you’re not familiar with Schlitterbahn check out their site www.schlitterbahn.com  In short, I think its the quintessential (big word I know – I had to look it up family vacation spot…especially if you a fun mom like me who likes to revisit her childhood frequently. Ok – I’ll admit – there are those who would argue (hubby being one of them) I never left my childhood.  Thank goodness though, I got old enough to drink wine!  And not to digress, but it’s even legal to drink at Schlitterbahn which again makes me say – its the quintessential family vacation – at least since my gurls were old enough to swim.

So, back to mirrors or the lack thereof…what are women thinking when they wear a two piece bathing suit when a retro one piece would not cover enough!  Please don’t get me wrong – as hubby would say – I’m not exactly a “petite flower” myself….but bikinis left my wardrobe about the same time Reagan Economics left the US economy.  So, with my trusty camera in hand, I thought about doing my own version of Glamour do’s and don’ts but I got frightened off by the plus size boyfriend with the evil eye – apparently he wasn’t fond of me photographing his “plus-size lady”.  I felt a little like paparazzi trying to snap a shot of Kirsti Alley.  Given that I decided against bodily harm, you’ll just have to use your imagination…or don’t!

Which brings me to the Full Moon and my Rules to Live By!  Years ago, during my Tulsa days – there was a restaurant/bar I frequented called the Full Moon.   The bartenders at the Full Moon were an irreverent type and they hung a sign over the bar that stated “Wearing spandex is a privilege, not a right”  It was a phrase I tucked away, knowing some day I’d need it.

Well, ladies and gentlemen – it’s time to remind you that The Full Moon was right!  Wearing spandex (and bikinis) is a privilege, not a right.  If that’s not in the constitution, it should be!

And speaking of the Consitution, since our trusty government is solving all the needs of the downtrodden as of late – maybe we could have a new program….  It could be a little like Hilary’s “no child left behind”  we’ll call it “no behind left uncovered”

P.S.  Another Full Moon”ism”….”You Can’t Be First But You Can Be Next”…but that’s a story for another day ;-)

You’ve Got to be Kidding – Part Deux

If you know me at all, or have read my prior post – you’ll know I have a very justified fear of heights.  Add to that an irrational fear of flying – and you’ll know the trepidation I felt as I prepared to climb into a shoe-box sized (hey – I have big feet) plane with gurl1 as the pilot.  Just yesterday she was learning to walk and today she’s old enough to fly a plane.  Time “flies” and that’s no joke! 

 I got shamed into this flight by gurl1 and her father.  Didn’t I trust his judgment and by the way – also the FAA’s judgment – she was ready for this?  And the answer is….NO!  But anyway, because I love her, I took a deep breath, kissed the ground (lest I not see it again alive) and climbed right in that plane. 

 

I don’t look terribly scared -do I?  After all – mommy’s aren’t supposed to be scared.  OK – it’s true – I was terrified!  Now to be fair – I wasn’t the only one that was scared.  Gurl1 was a little concerned about a shortage of oxygen in the plane – lest I suck it all out with my rapid breathing.  “What are you afraid of mom?” Duh… “Crashing”  “Mom, we’re not gonna crash” Famous last words.  I’m not really superstitious, or Catholic for that matter, but for some reason I’ve taken to crossing myself whenever I take off or land on an airplane flight.  And this one was no different – but let me tell you this time it elicited lots of laughs from the peanut gallery, the gurls and hubby.   

 Here’s a picture I took from the plane – just to prove I did it. 

 Gurl1 offered to take it with me in the picture.  Ha!  Gurl1 – keep your eye on the road….er…sky….er…pay attention!  I guess the good news is I lived to write this blog post.  You know that book – 1000 Things to Do Before I Die?  Well, this was not one of them but now that I’ve done it, I think I’ll insert it my list.  That means I can mark it off and now I’m down one more.  Then when I’m asked to go again, I can say – sorry no time for repeats – it’s a long list and I’m on the back side of 50. 

 Gurl1, I love you – You’re a great pilot; Ground , I Love You Too; and Gurl2 & Hubby – So glad I got to see you all again!

P.S.  I don’t care if it’s 5 o’clock somewhere or not – I need a glass of wine

Shopping – Gurl1 vs. Gurl2

And the winner is….

I know that any parent with two or more children has at one time or another wondered how those children could possibly have come from the same set of parents.  My gurls, it seems most of the time, have little more in common than the roof over their heads.  Take shopping for instance.

I haven’t written much about it in my blog but as much as I love gurl2 – shopping with her is a fate worse than death!  According to her – Her legs are too long and her waist is too small – oh perish the thought!  I’m not sure it would be fair to share with her that I once too had this problem and that she really should appreciate it while it lasts.

So, in the case of gurl2, there is never anything such as a simple trip to the mall.  Recently, needing a dress for an upcoming special occasion, gurl2 and I took to the mall one evening.  Now, briefly to another subject - I hate the mall.  But unfortunately, our local Old Navy had a poor selection of party dresses.  So off gurl2 and I go – for our special mother/daughter experience.  Right! I am not kidding when I say over the next 4 days of mall outings – she tried on 300 dresses, 250 of which did not fit, 49 of which she did not like and thankfully 1 – which would ”do”.  Needless to say, I’m not anxious to repeat that experience.  But I must say – seeing her all dressed up and realizing how fast she is growing up,  I forgot all about the pain.  I’m guessing its the same concept as labor pains – eventually when you find out how much you love that child – you forget about how much it hurt.  xoxo – I love you gurl2 – even if you are painful to shop with   

So, with gurl1 getting ready to go back to college and experience her first sorority rush from the member side of the table (that’s probably another blog entry by itself) – it was time to go shopping again.  Oh, the dreaded mall.  Armed with a list of required items from the
“sorority recruitment style chairman” (I’m not even going to tell you what her father thinks about this) we set off to find the perfect turquoise dress – among other things.  Now, remember, gurl1 has been off at school so please don’t think I am a terrible mother for forgetting whats she’s like at the mall.  Dreading the experience, putting it off until the last minute, after work, we head to the mall and poof – we are done! Gurl1 has picked out two dresses, one skirt and four pairs of shoes – scored a knockout of gurl2 in record time.  Turns out – she hates the mall more than me….go figure!   Where was gurl2 when this gene was being handed out? 

Now, don’t get me wrong, gurl1 loves clothes – her life was made complete this year when Victoria’s Secret added Oklahoma State to their “pink” college selection.  I digress a bit but don’t you miss the days when something like that was SO exciting?  Turns out gurl1 gets her shopping kicks from the Internet – which isn’t necessarily cheaper for her parents but at least more pleasant.  While most stores frown if you shop with a glass of wine in hand (mom, NOT gurl1) – turns out the world wide shopping web – doesn’t mind at all! Actually – I can trace this shopping preference back to gurl1’s first few weeks of life.  It happened when my friend Risa Rowe (an alias of course) sat on the couch with her – and perused catalogs with gurl1 nestled comfortly (if you saw Risa – you would know how comfortably in her chest.  Risa, you see being my oldest and dearest friend – felt it her duty to introduce gurl1, at the earliest moment – to mailorder shopping opportunities.  How was she to know that she was creating a monster? 

So, in regards to shopping – Gurl1 vs Gurl2…I have to say that the winner is no surprise…GURL1 – but not for the reason you might think.  Me, having decided sometime in the last 20 years (yes, I might have been a shopaholic in my past – but that’s a story for another day) that I would rather eat than shop – you can imagine how much I loved gurl1 when she turned to me at the mall and said – “mom, lets get out of here – I’m too hungry to shop!”  Gurl1 – can I just take a sappy moment and tell you how much I miss you when you are gone?

 Now it would only be fair to say that if hubby got a vote in the title fight – his choice would be gurl2.   Having never  darkened the door of the mall with her – here’s his “unenlightened point of view – when you have a daughter that can try on 300 dresses and only buy 1 – at least she’s cheap!

Mazel Tov, the Moon and God Bless America…Part Three

OK – I know I am a little behind here but bear with me.  For those of you waiting with baited breath – ok – maybe I am kidding myself…here’s the last chapter in the trilogy.

Following my chuppah (you shouldn’t have to google this, I told you in part two there might be a quiz :-0 ) experience in New York, the rest of June flew by and before I knew it – we’d arrived at Independence Day.  Now, I know Freedom is the big gift here to celebrate but this year we got a little icing on the cake with a THREE DAY WEEKEND!  Don’t you just love it when a holiday falls on a Friday or Monday? 

We spent our three days cramming in as much fun as we could up at the lake.  When I went back to work the following Monday, it was almost a relief to be out of the sun.  OK – its never a relief to go back to work but at least it’s air conditioned. 

Anyway – back to the point of my story.  Saturday night, July 4th 2009,  I sat on the deck of our favorite lakeside watering hole,  ate a giant rib-eye steak, sipped wine (albeit cheap – we were in Onalaska, Texas after all and watched the sunset with gurl2 and our good friends the Marti’s.  When you see the below picture, one would think it couldn’t get any better than that!

Then, shortly after God’s art show ended we stayed around to enjoy the man-made fireworks.    

 

While in terms of beauty, it couldn’t top the sunset – it was spectacular and awe inspiring!  I took a few minutes to reflect on the blessings in my life -family, friends, health and the material means to enjoy it all!  I thanked God for the strength and commitment of the men and women who fight and often give their lives, to preserve the gift of freedom, that I enjoy every day.  And, I asked God – particularly on this special day to Bless America – the greatest country on earth.  A country where little girls from Pawhuska, Oklahoma - with family love, hard work and determination (and a little luck thrown in) -can grow up and end up ”having it all”.                                                          

Cheers & Mazel Tov ,

Your Faithful Slug

Mazel Tov, the Moon and God Bless America…Part Two

OK – so you might be wondering – how DO you get caught between the moon and new york city?   And since you are wondering – or not - by Part 3 – I promise you I’ll tie all this together

Late last month,  hubby and I made a quick trip to NY.  Before continuing, I’d like to make a plug for my NEW favorite airline – JetBlue.   Leather seats and satellite tv at 1/3 the price of what Continental wanted for me to ride in their “expressjet” all the way to New York.  Plus, their flight attendants carry credit card machines for the cocktails you purchase and they don’t seem to mind serving you.  Unlike Continental flight attendants who prefer “exact change” and approach a $20 dollar bill like it has the plague.  True, it’s a novel idea for airlines to want to increase their revenue through things like drink sales – but I think it could catch on!

So, we went to NY to attend the wedding (or chuppah for those in the know…pay attention now – there might be quiz later of a friend’s son.   We both live in Houston but are world’s apart as they are Orthodox Jewish and we are….well not.  My friends might go so far as to say I am anything but orthodox anything!  This is our 4th Orthodox wedding (all in NY) that we’ve attended and I must say – they know how to throw a party!  First of all – they hold a cocktail party before the wedding – how cool is that?  Depending on your views on marriage – you can either toast to the institution or soothe your cynicism!  For me, the actual ceremony, since it was all in Hebrew and surprisingly enough, I’m not fluent….was a time to take in the wonderment of my surroundings.  I mean – I’m a little girl (ok – not so little anymore from Pawhuska, Oklahoma.  How the heck did I get here – in Queens, NY?  But, there I was, sitting in the pew at 8:00 pm, with the most beautiful view of the NY skyline I’d ever seen.  With the sun going down and the moon coming up and seeing the look of love on the bride and groom, I was struck by the fact that love is the same in any language.   So, I just smiled, closed my eyes and appreciated the moment – caught between the moon and new york city.  Mazel Tov!

Mazel Tov, the Moon and God Bless America…Part 1

For the five regular readers I have, thanks so much for your support.  So sorry I have been gone for almost a month – that’s continuity for you…no wonder there are just 3 of you now!  Life got kind of more crazy than usual here for a while – if that’s EVEN possible.

So, during my month away from blogging – I did a few really cool things – all as different as night and day.  Our local racetrack – in addition to horse-racing – which Gamblers Anonymous prefers me to stay away from (LOL) offers a summer concert series on Saturday nights.   Now, we’re not talking Cold Play or Kings of Leon here…but given that for the most part my musical tastes are stuck in the 70’s,  they are quite current for me.  So, me and a couple of my best-est friends, grabbed our B&B (blankets and bug spray – a staple for an outdoor concert in H Town) and headed to see America perform with Christopher Cross.  Fortunately I wasn’t close enough to the stage to realize that they are as old as I am sure I am NOT!  Now, I don’t have any desire to revisit the 70’s … according to my mother’s photo albums – the decade was NOT kind to me but I do love hearing the music.  My parents gave me a stereo for high school graduation and America was one of the first albums I bought to play on it.  I’m not sure what eventually became of that fine specimen of technology but if I still had it, I know it could sub as a boat anchor.  These days, I have America, Christopher and all my favorite oldies but goodies on my i-Pod, 1000 songs, smaller than album!  I find forcing gurl2 to listen to my 70’s playlists, with a little classic country mixed in for good measure – incredibly good punishment when she’s been surly!   Anyway – as usual, I digress…That night, sitting under the stars hearing Christopher Cross sing Arthur’s theme – “Caught between the moon and new york city”, little did I know that in a few short days – I’d be there!

HRLRS…an Important Acronym

I’m kind of a shortener of sorts (ok, I know that’s not a word).  I shorten names of my friends, sometimes even nicknames that are a shorter version of their names.  For example, my friend Missy’s name is really Suzanne – don’t ask me where the Missy came from – it was “pre” me.  But I call her Miss…for short….go figure.  I’m big on acronyms too, it’s how I remember things- make shorter versions of longer items.  When I took Oklahoma History my freshman year of high school, we had to memorize all 77 counties in Oklahoma.  I made sentences out of the county names.  One I still remember – DEWEY BLAINE was the KINGFISHER in OKFUSKEE County.  I wish I could erase some of that needless info to make more room on the brain’s hard drive for things I need to remember – like picking up the cleaning – or better yet, turning off the water in the poor before I flooded the neighborhood….oops!

On to HRLR…which stands for High Risk, Low Reward Statement – an acronym I have no trouble remembering – for the wrong reason.  The problem is that my hubby is all too familiar with it, serving as a constant reminder for me.  In fact, if there were a prize for saying the riskiest things and getting away with it – he’d win hands down.  Of course, what he doesn’t know it that my sister and I keep a roll of carpet behind her garage just in case we need to dispose of a body….LOL (of course)  Second prize in the contest would go to my bestest neighbor’s husband – who recently made a HRLR comment about the size of her backside and basically got “backhanded”  I’m reminded of something gurl1 used to say in middle school, “girls go to college to get more knowledge, boys go to jupiter to get more stupider”  I mean – what WAS he thinking?   

I’ve heard that they’ve invented software that you can put on your phone to keep you from “drunk texting”  You know, the ones you send to the ex-boyfriend, after one too many glasses of wine,telling him…well… go listen to Kelly ’ new song “The Best Days of Your Life”and you’ll know what I mean.  It’s a way worse side effect of drinking than the old “thinking you could sing” thing.  Not that I would know….I just live vicariously through my single friends at work!  Anyway, I’m wondering if they could perhaps invent a sensor you could install on your husbands – an HRLR meter of sorts that would send a shock when they are about to say something that at best case will require them to wear a jacket from the cold shoulder chill.  But, on the other hand – my hubby would have already been electrocuted from constant shock.  And I….would have no further need for the carpet   I’m thinking a frontal lobotomy is a better choice!

Tiffany Blue looks GOOD on You!

Here in the city we call home – there is an auction house.  Every Thursday they hold an auction where they sell rugs, chandeliers, antiques (lots of antiques) and every once in a while – an item that’s just well, awesome!

Hubby and I have gotten addicted to the auction.  And considering how much money we’ve spent since incurring this addiction – it’s crossed my mind that there just might be cheaper addictions.  Oh wait – already addicted to wine and thats turned out to be quite costly as well…oops!

Gurl1 is addicted too – but since for the most part, her budget is funded by my budget, my habit gets fueled first. Anyway, I’ve gotten my friend Y addicted as well.  And considering we already know how much Y likes to shop, its turning out to be even worse than my affliction.  

Y and I check out the website every Wednesday prior to the auction.  Of course we do it over our lunchhour – would never webcrawl during working hours – we do have full-time jobs after all Enter, the AWESOME item…dining room chairs.  Not just any chairs but eyestopping chairs.  Now, one must think….slug…how can chairs be eyestopping?  Just wait! You know right away, even from a picture that these things were made for Y and her new house  – lock up the women and the children (and any other potential bidders) Y’s got to have those chairs.

Fortunately for Y – or rather her pocketbook – she sent gurl1 to negotiate for her.  For gurl1 – this is good - feeding her habit with someone else’s money.  For her its about the chase…who’s daughter is she anyway ;-0

Tiffany Blue chairs don’t work for everyone – but they work for Y.  In the end – Y would’ve paid anything.  Tiffany Blue looks GOOD on you – who needs jewelry anyway!  Oh wait….she’s got that too – forget my purse and shoe envy – did I mention that torquoise  is the new jealous